5 secrets to look your best. (ladies only)

You don’t have to burn stacks of cash to get the best wardrobe. You don’t have to eat grass to look great in that dress. You don’t have to go to branded boutiques to get ‘the look’ whatever that actually means.

No, I don’t mean for you to wear rags and not give a shit to society, because let’s face it,

  • you don’t have a second chance at making a first impression.
  • it’s easier to get things done when you look good.

Now we’ve established the fact that you should care about your appearance (don’t obsess over it tho) here are some tips:

  1. It’s all about the hair, skin, body shape.

    A healthy woman looks like she can get shit done. I have an aunt who looks younger than my mom even though she’s 11 years her senior.At 70 years old, she’s really stunning from the back. With her petite frame, minimalist style and ladylike clothes (and 2 inched heels), she covers most of her wrinkly skin with long sleeved clothes, nude stockings, gorgeous locks of hair and a fair amount of skill with the minimal makeup she puts on.
    (fun fact: She climbed the Swiss Alps in 2-inched Bally shoes…says the heels can dig into the snow for grip.)

    My point here is that you should accentuate whatever makes you look healthy. 

    Hair: It’s the feminine feature that society has been using to easily differentiate men and women. Whatever the length, color and shape,  shiny smooth hair looks awesome on everyone. The only people that can pull off dry, frizzy, wild hair are african american people. It somehow looks natural on them tho.

    For women, hair length usually denotes maturity, that’s why a pixie cut can make you look 10 years younger. but take care not to look like a child who doesn’t know what to do, or a fierce diva who tries too hard to be masculine because she’s insecure. (imagine Kim Kardashian going pixie cut with all that strong contouring. nope)

    Skin: It really doesn’t matter if you’re black or white…or yellow, orange, mottled etc… again, if it has good glow, looks smooth and toned then we’re good to go. Anyone tells you that you need to be fair/white, tell them no thanks for the opinion, cause you didn’t ask for it. And if you did, then slap yourself.
    Look after your face, sleep well, drink the right amount of water..it makes all the difference.

    Body: I understand that everyone has different body types. The key here, is ratio. Twig and buxom are two sides of a beautiful coin. As long as your waist looks obviously smaller (even ever so slightly) than your hips then Yay you. But avoid looking like a pear though).

    Avoid taut lines, even if you’re skinny, because then you’d look like an unfortunate boa-constricted victim or a tasty, well wrap bazhang….and that only looks good on a bazhang, not you. BUT if your clothes shows one of two taut lines because you can’t help that mother nature blessed you with DD and dat fine ass, then we forgive you. 😉

    Since I’ve mentioned lines, wrinkle-free clothes show that you care about tidiness. You don’t have to go OCD and eliminate every crease, but your clothes shouldn’t look like mud cracks on the Sahara desert.

  2. Color vs cutting

    Yes, the patterns on the dress look amazing with all those twirling and whirling and flowers and geometrical lines and shapes and sequins and buttons and zips that can’t be zipped…..but why tho?
    How can you be a masterpiece when all I’m attracted to is the frame of your clothes?

    So my dear reader, take note of two things.The better you are at taking care of everything in no.1, the less color you wear. Because we need all that fineness to radiate and bless society. no. 2, When people see more color/pattern, they see less cutting. That’s why it’s easier to look sexy in an all black dress than one with red and green flowers all over. 


    Even if you have ratchet hair, skin with boils, lesions, scars and body that would put Mr. Michelin to shame, you still shouldn’t wear more colors than a clown.

    The people who wear clothes filled with patterns are usually children and old people (but even then those two are looking super dapper nowadays). Children are forgiven because you’re not suppose to take them seriously. Old people can look really good in pattern-filled clothes, because they’re body, hair and skin don’t look as fine as it use to anymore, so they need some form of distraction.

    Example- Elder ladies stacking their fingers with gem-studded gold= respectable. Young women look better with one shiny ass silver ring.

  3. Balance

    You don’t want people to feel weird looking at you. But you don’t want to be a bland potato with no edge. Be like vodka, It’s colorless and it looks plain, but it balances with major fire down your throat.

    If your dress looks too plain, get some poppin shoes, or a fancy bag that shows who you are or something shiny or sparkly. If your clothes already look nice, then you should get a black/ grey/ white/ nude / matching colored/ plain colored shoe that doesn’t distract other people from your fine clothes.
    If you already have the punk jacket action with the multiple punk earrings and black punk shoes, then it’s really hard to look your best with the shirt filled with skulls and crossbones or the bag with a million horns sticking out. I mean OKAY, we get it, you’re punk, but we already understood with the jacket. Now you’re just trying to hard and being cheap. n das not gud.

    Side note for those who say:” Heeey, I’m punk n goth, that’s just my style”. Another way for you to understand is to imagine the another lady wearing a jacket with stripes of every shade of pink over a pink leotard, a pink tutu skirt, with pink hair with a big hot pink bow, and 2 pandora bracelets on each wrist, with 2 heart-shaped necklaces and a fluffy pink unicorn bag with “My Baby Unicorn” in rainbow colors with glittery pink knee-high-heeled boots. Like….uhmm okay..we get it.

  4. Be happy.

      Till this day, I’ve never seen anyone angry or sad in a clothing ad.
     ^ This is really important. Don’t tell me you have bitch face. The last time I checked, my female dog had a smile too. Make it a point to think of something happy instead of leaving your mind blank like the Black Sea.

  5. Be mindful of how you carry yourself.

    You know how 100 x 0 = 0?

    So (RM1000 dress) x sucky feeling = sucky feeling
    It’s easier to look good if you feel good. It some how shows from the way you carry yourself, they way you speak to those around you. Also make sure that you’re comfortable in the clothes you wear.

    If something keeps falling off, pin it. If the Egyptians created the safety pin centuries ago, it really means it’s almost as important as paper.

    Before you get out of the house, stand in front of a mirror with your shoes and bags on you as well. See if you look neat and comfortable. <- this is very important.


Of course the kind of person you are is more important than how you look. What’s the point of giving people a good impression of you if they’re going to hate you 5 minutes later?

Looks should be the attractive packaging to an awesome human being like yourself. 🙂

Cheers! ✌out!

Feature image from https://www.pinterest.com/pin/491455378065060790/

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